IN THEORY
Q: In his book, "Why Men Hate Going to Church," author David Murrow says that though 90% of American men say they believe in God, only two out of six attend church. His theory is that even though some could argue religious leadership is dominated by men, attending services is seen as a feminine endeavor -- with services and messages that cater to feminine values. Ultimately, Murrow calls for leaders to seek more men, or reap the consequences of religious institutions losing a generation of boys -- which will lead to the downfall of churches. Is there a dearth of men in your church? Do you agree with Murrow?
A:
I haven't noticed a lack of men in
our particular church, neither on a given
Sunday morning nor in the active administrative life of the
church. Quite honestly, though, we haven't studied this
dimension of our congregation make-up in our church.
However, I won't hesitate to say that Murrow's on target with
his observations, mostly due to the manner in which religion is
understood these days. The strength of religion is found in
terms of its calming and pacifying ability, rather than as a
vehicle to effectuate change in our lives and in society.
In the Christian tradition, Jesus Christ is in fact a
revolutionary who bucks the system and taps into an inner power
to overcome the greatest of difficulties. His message, "Courage,
I have overcome the world" (John 16) is a victory declaration.
He is a masculine role model who can be very attractive to males
in their quest for power.
Many times these days, however, he's presented as a victim of
circumstance, with very little control over what the fates would
dish out to him. You're more inclined to pity him than mimic.
This is hardly a masculine role model: a male giving up control?
The Christian church has fallen lax in its presentation of
Jesus.
Think of the anti-war and civil rights movements of the 60's,
where the Church was at the forefront of the challenge to bring
peace. Yet today, sadly, the Church is staying silent, not
really defining itself as an institution with the ability to
bring about true and lasting peace. More than blaming its
inability to attract a male audience, its loss of relevance in
the lives of people, is the greater downfall for the
institution.
Let people understand that religion taps into the deepest and
most sensitive parts of human consciousness and watch the pews
fill with men and women, because you've offered something that
goes beyond gender.
Fr. Vazken Movsesian
Armenian Church Youth Ministries
In Context
Percentages of men in my church compared to women range from 40-60 on some Sundays to close to 50-50 on others. The percentage of men is often higher in classes taught on theological issues. In one recent class, seven men attended with only three women. In another class, men outnumbered women six to one. We have a small attendance, but we are very happy that men find what we do spiritually satisfying enough to come to church often.
I know of some Unity churches where women outnumber men by huge percentages. Generally, however, I would suspect the attendance figures overall in Unity churches would be somewhat similar to ours. Men have always, it seems to me, been attracted to a new way of teaching, a different way to look at old truths. Unity fits into that mold of New Thought.
Unity has about 1,000 churches. Women have been ordained along with men in our movement for almost 100 years. We have approximately the same number of women serving in ministerial roles as we do men.
A few women ministers do not do well at attracting men to services; others do remarkably well. Some male ministers attract more women; others more men. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to how this works out.
THOMAS E. WITHERSPOON
Minister
Unity Church of the Valley
La Crescenta
The question has to do with why, according to Murrow, don't more men attend religious services.
Many religious groups will agree that they have more female than male adherents.
The equality of women and men is a principle of the Baha'i Faith.
From Baha'i writings: "It is important that men of all faiths cultivate their own relationship with God; through obedience to the laws of their religion, and by participating in fellowship with their fellow religionists at their own house of worship. While in most cases women are the primary educators of the children, both women and men have been given the responsibility and the God given gift to cultivate their own knowledge of the Creator. For the world of humanity consists of two parts or members: one is woman; the other is man and until these two members are equal in strength, as the two wings of a bird, the oneness of humanity cannot be established and the happiness and felicity of mankind will not be a reality."
In the Baha'i Faith we assemble as a community once every 19 days and our calendar is made up of 19 months with four or five intercalary days.
BARBARA CRAMER
Secretary
Baha'i Faith
Glendale
First of all, there is not a dearth of men in my church. (We have a dearth of young men and women, and that fact worries me.) But do I agree with Murrow? Perhaps I do, but I am not going to apologize for the stuff in church that seems "feminine," as opposed to "masculine." The church is the church, and its Founder was killed for preaching "feminine" things such as, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. And while any good preacher worth his salt has to be concerned with a gradually decreasing attendance on Sunday mornings (such a situation right now doesn't really describe my church!), one must preach the Gospel, and then let the chips fall where they may.
The ministry is a very strange calling: one is paid by the church to do the job, and sometimes the doing of the job (i.e., preaching the Gospel) may offend the very people who give him his paycheck! I guess what I am saying is that all are welcome, male and female, Jew and Greek, slave and free, to paraphrase Saint Paul. But the church isn't a country club that should try to put out a more "masculine" message in order to attract more of any demographic.
When I write my sermons, I pray that those who hear them will find love, peace, joy, hope, and courage "for the living of these days," in the words of the hymn written by Harry Emerson Fosdick. If those values are "feminine," so be it.
THE REV. SKIP LINDEMAN
Congregational Church of the Lighted Window
United Church of Christ
La Cañada Flintridge
Two needs resonate in the heart of every real man: the need for purpose in life and the need for success in life.
As a man, I want to make a difference in this world and do it with excellence. As a man of faith, I want to see concrete Christ-like changes in my life and I want to serve others practically and effectively for His sake. I have little desire to stand in a circle, hold hands and sing, "Kum-Ba-Ya". And I hate committee meetings.
Properly understood, Jesus' message ignites into flame and fulfills the spiritual passions in a man's heart. He said, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." (Matthew 4:19).
Jesus calls us to action with a purpose: "Follow Me". Be a man. Do something. Get up out of your sin and start living for God. Stop thinking only about yourself and start making a difference in someone else's life.
Jesus promised: "I will make you fishers of men." He makes us successful through His direct work in our lives and through our lives. He teaches us to live, not just make a living.
Thankfully there is no dearth of men in my congregation. But Murrow has hit upon an issue that the church cannot ignore. We must purposefully lead men to "follow and fish." God promises us success if we will.
PASTOR JON BARTA
Valley Baptist Church
Burbank
In a culture that won't make up its mind whether it wants sensitive men who can cry in front of women, or silly men who are led by smarter wives (most sit-coms) or the superheroes of action movies, is it any wonder that men are a mess when it comes to spiritual things? That last category is most lauded by men, because there is something in men that angrily foments against all the sissy-ness of a culture gone mad with gender homogenization, and men yearn to be strong; to be mighty!
Yet it's as though masculinity has nothing to offer, and what it does must be denuded lest men actually step up and claim the pants-wearing in the family.
Think, if there's a noise in the basement at night, is it the lady's task to grab the bat and go see what it is? No, that's the man's job! Men have a particular role. Yet, the women will likely bring the kids to church to hear about meek, lovely Jesus, and in some sad situations, to pray to our "mother," which art in heaven. Sound like man fare?
Men need to realize some things; Jesus was strong. He single-handedly drove the greedy bums out of the temple with his whip, and later endured the Passion for all (the ancient equivalent of jumping on a grenade). Also, God designed men to head their homes (Ephesians 5:23); to be the spiritual trainers of their children (6:4), and to "not give up meeting together" (Hebrews 10:25) that is, going to church.
So, if things are to change, Men must act, and women must help, and churches must be intentional. The men within, must create an inviting environment for those without, and tea party fellowship groups must give way to brave new squads of spiritually balanced masculine relevance.
THE REV. BRYAN GRIEM
Senior Pastor
Light On The Corner
Montrose